You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
