Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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