She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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