we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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