Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
