evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
