ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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