Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
