Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
