So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
