just tell him i said nine months
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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