I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
