look no pants
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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