Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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