You made me cry and you don't even care
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
