Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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