and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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