I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If I die, sorry about rent.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
