I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
