I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
