Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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