I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
