try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
