she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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