I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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