O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
