OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you had me at cake vodka
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
