Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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