I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
