6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
What a dumb baby whore.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
