i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
