I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
