brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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