omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
