All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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