It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
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