you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
