How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
