How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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