I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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