do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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