ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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