Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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