you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
