Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
