An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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