need another drink. this is the easiest way
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
