My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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