i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
