just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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