The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
